For now refer to...

Hello lovely people!

For the time being, I really cannot upkeep these awesome writes, along with my normal writing.  I have been "successfully" working on my book In the Blood these last few months, along with prepping for this years NaNoWriMo adventures.  So,sadly, for now this blog has to be put onto the back burner.

But I still need you!  Just click the link below and go my normal writing blog.  That is where I update weekly, if not daily, about my progress.  Especially when November hits and NaNo begins, I will need all the support I can get.  So please...go go go!  I promise I will get back to doing this blog too...once life calms down a bit :)  See you on the blog!

Jenni's writing blog - CLICK HERE!

Literal Revamp

"The hardest thing for a writer to do is write"

That quote is amazingly accurate. For some reason, those of us filled with the passion to write are the ones who have the hardest time putting words to paper. The excuses seem easier to share than the creation. For example, here is my current list of excuses:

-I just had baby number 2
-I am EXHAUSTED. Chasing after a two year old, taking care of a new born, keeping my home clean...can I just sleep now?
-On that note...my "me time" is sleep time
-Writers...block...
-I feel like no one really does like my writing, so...why write?
-Lack of motivation. Lack of...anything
-Have I mentioned that I am tired?

Ok, now that I have gotten those out of my system...none of them are truly any good reason as to why I haven't taken anytime to write for over a month now. Yes, I am tired. And busy. And "blocked." But how will I get past any of that if I just use it as an excuse? Will I ever write again?

True, if it felt like I had readers biting at the bit to read my scribbled words, I just may be spilling them more. But that is in an ideal world. In all reality, most writers remain barely known, mostly supported only by family and close friends. It is rare to become a JK Rowling or Stephenie Meyer. Its like saying every single lady out there has a glass slipper waiting in hand of a prince with an amazing hair cut and glittering blue eyes. Sadly...not true. Though I do still say *ahem* that a bit more support from those who know me would be nice...what kind of writer would I be if I based all my creations off of the reader count? Well, actually, I would be what I am right now: Not writing.

I started this blog with the statement that I need to find me. That I love writing and need to find that space in my day to do one thing for me-me, not for mommy-and-wife-me.

Though my eyes now burn and my head swims with the lack of sleep... (Baby number 2, don't get me wrong. I love you. But please...night time is for sleeping.)

And though my two year old would rather me be at his side at all hours, playing and wrestling and giving him cookies...

My kitchen sink may not always be shiny. And the laundry may not always be sorted, washed, folded, AND put away...

I am not failing at that job. I have a happy home. An *almost* always clean home.
The job I am starting to stray from is the one that makes me feel more like me once again. It is SO easy to be lost when you become a stay at home mom. Too easy in fact.

So, I need to slightly revamp my writing goal. Writing a prompt every single day, at this time in my life, is just too impossible to do. I will keep it posted as my challenge, in the hopes that someday (maybe soon?) I will actually be able to achieve that. Until then, here will be my new, personal goal:

-Write one prompt a week.
-Blog at least one entry a week of my writing thoughts...tips, tricks, complaints: anything.
-Finally sit down and start plucking words for one of my book ideas. No set goal per week for that one yet...let's see how I do so far with what I already listed.

Alright! There we go!
Now then, I know I have a small handful of followers out there in cyber world. I am hoping you are reading this, and will read my more scattered ramblings as they come. Maybe even give me feedback? Maybe? It feels good to do this again. To feel the buttons clicking under finger as I quickly type out word after word...Let us hope I can at least somewhat stick to this newly revamped goal.

Until my next entry...both boys are sleeping and I think it is time my head hit a pillow too.

Writing Hiatus

Oh my, two weeks go by, and not a word scratched onto paper.

Tsk tsk.

Oh, believe me, I do try. Ok, by try I mean I think about it. I very seriously think about it. These pregnancy induced hormones, along with worn out two year old frenzies are really taking a toll on my creative juices though. As soon as I do think about trying to sit down and scrawl out the waiting words, my poor brain turns to baby mush and all I can do is zone out into the nearest corner. And now, two weeks after my last writing, I am finding it hard to get back into whatever swing is out there.

My bandwagon has kicked me off and driven on and I just can't catch up!

People, if any out there is reading this ramble, help me here. Have you ever noticed that the goals you most want to accomplish are the ones that are easiest to neglect? I know that I shouldn't depends so much on the inexistent peer support, but in all reality, that is a driving factor in dreams. You need those shoulders to cry on and the loving hands to smack you when you have become lazy. Maybe setting a goal to do a prompt every single day is a bit excessive, but at least I have some goal out there to at least aim for, right?

My mind is rattling with story ideas, but none of them can get out. I need to find that lost key...

Here is a good thing though: I have been reading. Right now I am devouring Orson Scott Card's book "Characters and Viewpoint" Not only is he one of my favorite scifi writers, he also can create a killer help book (I also have read and love his book "How to Writ Science Fiction and Fantasy" Its an amazing read!) I will post more about this current digestion once I finish it. Reading time is only caught during naps if I am not napping, and after bedtime, if I am not passed out.

I have ordered a few more writing books. Problem is, I mistakenly set them to ship to our old address (Pregnant moment? Oh, I do think so.) Luckily, it looks as if I have been able to get two of the three corrected and hope to get them...soon. I am pretty excited. You know, if any of you out there ever feel like aiding me in my writing endeavers, but aren't writers or readers yourself, just getting me another writing book works wonders. There are reasons I love Amazon...and I have an extensive wishlist. (Oh, laughing to self...and shaking head.)

But yes, so even though I may have been lacking lately in the writing field, I have been making sure to fill my mind with tips from other accomplished peoples. I will get back into the swing of things. I will...I am now 8 weeks and counting from my due date for this baby number 2. We will see how things go, but in life, there is one thing we DO need to remember: If you don't hold onto at least one of your dreams, what are you holding?

Patience...

My Recommend for a Great, New Read

Branded: Fall of Angels

"Night after night, Jessica stands trial before a council of vindictive angels for deeds she didn't commit. Condemnation brings a branding as they dementedly laugh and point but exaltation starts a war over her soul. These are Jessica's nightmares. Alex is everything Jessica could ever want and she'll do anything to be with him. Even tell him the truth about angels, why she never sleeps, and the scar on the back of her neck. This is what she will fight for. But the nightmares rule Jessica's life and she must find a way to stop the events that are pulling her toward her own judgment or become the object of her greatest fear. And lose Alex forever."

My followers, or those who are just now stumbling upon this blog of mine:
Read this book.

It is a gripping story about a young girl who, when she finally allows herself to sleep, must stand for the judgment of passed souls. For years she is tormented with this, tortured in her sleep with standing trial before angels, and in her waking hours with the scars that burn on her back and the never ending pull back to slumber. Then she meets Alex. And finds a reason, finally, for happiness. Only to have it all start to crash in as evil tries to claim her for its own.

Yes. Mind = Blown.

I do have to admit, I am friends with the author. Keary Taylor, still only 22 years old, is already proving to be a great upcoming author in the writing world. After finishing her work, she chose to self-publish through Amazon. I have had the chance to "see" her as she worked hard on this piece of art, perfecting and creating. Even now, as I type this, she already is working hard on the next book in this series (Forsaken).

I do not recommend her solely because she is a friend of mine. I truly do see something in her. I have made a hobby in my life of collecting and reading books. Though I do not claim to be a literary expert in all things written, I can at least push forward the books that do stand out to me in my ventures. I was hesitant to read this at first, worried that a work written by a friend might not be as enjoyed as by some anonymous author. But I am very happy that I did dive in.

I ask you, when you find yourself wondering what to read next, to give this book a shot. It not only supports a friend of mine, but it supports an author who is striving to achieve her dreams. As you know, I too hope to someday enter into the publishing world, releasing my own works to the public. Seeing someone I know achieve this is inspiring to me, and reminds me that it is possible. I hope someday to be able to have the support and back-up that Keary has. And to proudly hold my own published work in hand.

Read. This. Book.

Support new creations. And enjoy the escape into another reality.

- - -

Here is the link for the paperback on Amazon. It is also available via Kindle.

Go to Amazon. Click here

Friends, Mommyhood, Farmville and American Idol - Pitfalls to Writing Goals

I have set myself a personal goal: To write. Not only to write, but to do it daily. And I told my self "no excuses." I told myself to write at least 500 words a day, to post my prompts daily, in all essence: to get lost back into the world of writing. That was a week ago. And, oh my, I was doing well. Every day I was posting my prompt of the day, along with other insightful little tidbits I discovered along the way. And I was feeling great! Words were already coming easier, though some of the prompts had proven to be difficult. Yet still, they came. And I found that even within that short time, I couldn't finish a day without writing.

So what is the issue you ask?

Well, if you scroll back through my posts, you will notice something very sad. The last two days...there has been nothing. Not one post. While my mind was constantly laying in wait in writing land, I never took the time this last weekend to plop the words down into existence. And I must say, I am disappointed in myself. Oh, I do have explanations. For one, we had out of town friends visiting. Two, I am a mommy of a two year old and am now 29 weeks pregnant with little boy number two. I am stretched as it is (no tummy-pun intended). Three, I am addicted to Facebook. Ok, maybe not addicted. But as soon as I sit at my lovely computer, the first thing I tend to do is check that wretched site. Most times it is in the sad hopes that a friend will be on and will talk with me (I get lonely...). Then I find myself - *gasp* - farming. Yes, Farmville farming. I hang my head in shame. Ok, and fourth...the tv just pulls me in. As soon as the kiddo is in bed, I am shot from the busy day of keeping him content. Even now, I find myself glancing at the clock, knowing that in a few short minutes American Idol will be starting.

Distractions are too easy to come by.

So what do I do? Do I proclaim I have already ruined my goal and that this is a lost cause? NO. I apologize for the missed days, but must also realize that in my life, there WILL be missed days. That's a given. My husband is very supportive of this goal of mine. He loves to read my newest creations (and, sadly, by the looks of it...may be the only one out there reading them.) But I cannot always disappear and write nonstop while he is home with the kiddo. I need him-time too.

(Oh, and on the topic...is anyone out there reading this? I know I know. I am truly doing this for me. But I am a creature of support. When I find others are enjoying my writing. Wanting it. Or at least encouraging me by casually glancing over the words...I feel a stronger urge to keep going. Call me human. So really, an occasional comment here and there really wouldn't hurt...I am just saying.)

A great discovery though.
I feel the "pain" from not writing. When, in the last few years, I would go for months without once sitting down to write a word, the last few days I knew I was missing the writing every second. Though I had no time to sit and do it, I was constantly thinking of it. Creating stories. Pondering plots. So, this goal of mine is working. Maybe it won't be daily here on the blog. But I feel something growing. Something that has lain dormant for far too long: My passion.

Writer friends out there, do not be discouraged. If you find a "block." If you find you have gone for a while with no writing. If you feel like you have no support... Don't give up. Try harder. Its all there. But you have to find it, it won't just knock on your mental door and announce "Here I am!"

Say it with me:
"I am not a failure. I am a writer."

Writing Prompt #7

Writing Prompt #7
"I just had the weirdest dream about you."

Tara's eyes blinked open. The sunlight streamed in through the slated blinds, casting long bars of warm light across the bed. She stretched an arm above her head, groaning as she felt sleep stretch from her waking limbs. Rolling to her side, she smiled. He was still asleep. He lay on his side facing her, his face peaceful and handsome. Tara knew every line, every inch of that face. The way his eyebrows furrowed even in his sleep at something perplexing. How his soft lips parted to lightly draw in a sweet breath of air. The straight line of his perfect nose. As she watched him sleep, the dream she had just woken from slowly crept back into her mind. Her stomach tightened.

He moaned softly, then slowly blinked his blue eyes open.

"Good morning." He smiled at her. She tried to share the smile back with him, but the dream had caught her fully now in her waking moments. "Tara, honey, what's wrong?" He nudged himself up on the pillow, his brows furrowed in concern.

Tara sighed. "I just had the weirdest dream about you."

"Is that so? Weird huh...was I rich? Now that would be weird."

Tara lightly smacked him on the arm. "No Brent, not that." She flopped flat onto her back, her eyes tracing the faint lines on the ceiling. "I dreamed...I dreamed that you were gone."

"Ok..."

"That was it really. I woke up in the morning, and you were gone. No traces of you. No pictures on the walls, no note on the table. Everything about you was just...gone. Then I realized...you were never there. I had imagined you. Or something. And - and I was all of a sudden just so...alone."

Brent scooted closer to Tara. He brushed a stray strand of hair off of her face, then leaned in and kissed her cheek lightly. "Well, I'm here."

"I know. I know. But what if...what if you were gone? If you left? If something happened and it ended up being just me?" Tara turned her face to him. Her eyes burned with tears that fought to flow down her cheeks. "Brent, its not that I can't be alone. I can. But...I can't be without you."

Brent drew in a breath of air and held it a moment. Then he exhaled slowly, his eyes searching hers. Reaching forward, he grabbed her by the waist and drew her in, holding her tight to him. she could feel the warm heat of his body, the strength of his arms as he lovingly held her close. "Tara, I am not going anywhere. Ever. Even if my life ended, I would be right here, holding you, always. You have to know that. You are stuck with me, and I could never hold anyone other than you."

Tara wiped an escaped tear from her cheek. She felt silly. She didn't know why she let these dreams get to her so bad. Every night for the last three nights she had been having them. And every night they became more intense, more real. They stayed with her through her day, reminding her that at night she would return to their grasp. A sob suddenly escaped from her throat.

"Tara. Tara, honey. Nothing will take this from us. I promise. If I had to fight away death itself. If I was...was held captive against my will. I would fight to return to you. No woman is you. And my life...my life is you. Do you believe me?"

Tara looked into his eyes. His perfect blue eyes. They were full of love, full of concern.

"Tara, I need to know, do you believe me?"

"Of course Brent. Of course I believe you." She leaned in and softly kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too." His brow furrowed again. Suddenly, his voice came out more urgent, more intense. "I love you, always. Remember, I will never let go.

"Brent, what's wrong? What's - "

Everything faded. A bright light suddenly blinded her, causing her to drag her hand across her burning eyes. Something tugged on her arm. Squinting past her hand, she saw an IV line taped tight against her flesh.

"She's awake."

The voice was distant. A voice she didn't know.

"Tara, can you hear me?"

"What...what..."

"Tara, there was an accident. You are fine. You have been unconscious now for three days. Luckily all you suffered was the minor concussion and some bruises."

"Brent. Where's Brent?"

The room went silent. All she could hear was the beep of a nearby machine and the uncomfortable rustle of someone's coat.

"I'm sorry Tara. He didn't make it."

Tara's whole body shook. "No. Please, no..." Sobs tore from her as she gasped for air. Rolling to her side, she buried her face into the flat pillow. She could hear the footsteps of the doctor and nurses leaving the room. But she didn't care. All she could so was cry nonstop into the now soaked pillow.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she felt it. Her sobs quieted as she clenched her eyes shut. The warm, familiar draw of his arms wrapped around her, holding her tight.

Please, she thought, please please don't leave me.

As if on the flutter of a breeze, she heard, whispered softly in her ear: Never.

(Word count: 886)

Quotes to Think About - Writer's Block

How many of us writers out there have found ourselves blaming the ever elusive Writer's Block for our lack of word count? I know I have. It is quite frustrating when you know you want to write, yet as soon as you finally sit down to do so, no words come. Or worse, when you have all together lost that urge to even try. Again, I raise my hand, admitting I have been there. In fact, I try to claim I still call that residence. But the truth is: What IS writer's block? Is it an actual mental issue...or just a term, a blame we have created to make an excuse for our no longer trying?

In the intro to The Writer's Book of Matches, the author includes some very interesting quotes about this very topic to think on.

"...a noisy inner critic (or an even noisier next door neighbor), a story that you won't allow to come out and play, troubling circumstances, insomnia, or myriad other things thrown in your path. ..." (Jenna Glatzer, Outwitting Writer's Block)

"...fear of failure, fear of success, literary fogginess, and wrong direction..." (Nancy Kress, Beginnings, Middles, and Ends)

"I think you have overindulged yourself on a steady diet of baloney for far too long. Why do writers think they have the privilege of a special dispensation for not working? What is this mysterious white lie known as writer's block? Face it - if you're not writing, it can only be because you're too lazy or you don't know what you're doing." (James V. Smith, Fiction Writer's Brainstormer)

Pretty powerful quotes, yet at the same time...anything ringing true in your mind? Writer's Block isn't a disease, its a mindset. "Try defining it as the absence of inspiration." (Writer's Book of Matches) And the cure? Move on! Try a new story, a new idea. If you find yourself joining me in this rut I reside in, try a prompt or twenty. The thing is, if you DO love writing, then write. Finding an excuse to not do it only leads you to the question: Why am I even trying? Looks like its time to re-examine that plot. Rethink that antagonist. Step away completely and work on something new. But, my friends, if you truly love this art, it is never time to give up.

So let's say goodbye to Writer's Block. And start letting our mind run away again with new ideas. It IS possible.

Goodbye rut, hello creation.